M.I.A.

I know. I've been missing and I'm really sorry.

Truth be told, I'm having a tough go of just about everything lately. And there are so many things I want to blog about but almost none of the ideas have to do with writing. Rather, it's more like one big pity party over here and I'm trying to spare all of you and not be some Debby Downer who puts all her personal stuff online.

But if I can't put it here, in a safe online community of my peers, what's the point of having a blog, right?

So here's the truth: I've been spending a lot of time hoping someone important to me changes. Yes, it's a boy and yes, the logical side of me knows that this is ridiculous. People don't change. And yet, I keep hoping that if I just continue to show him support and continue to be the "Totally Amazing Person," he'll have to see it sooner or later, right?

Wrong. I know that's not how this works but lately, EmotionalMe (EM) has been driving this car, not LogicalMe (LM). EM had been trying like hell to write the most supportive emails and be the bestest listening buddy ever, often at the expense of LM who is currently being suppressed with Jameson, Camel Ultra lights, and comfort food. EM has realized she's not very good at talking face to face, but she can craft quite the email expressing support and well wishes while secretly dreaming up the most romantic-yet-unrealistic scenarios. Now if only she'd shut the hell up before she makes us all look like desperate sots...

A few more days, friends. I ask that you bear with me just a bit longer. I know I missed Banned Books Week and my friends' blog fests. I'm so sorry, guys. I even have writing/reading/literary stuff to share, but that all lives with LM and she's currently unavailable.

In the meantime, I leave you with this tune from the new Christina Perri album that leaves me a crying mess moved. And wanting to don my old bridesmaids dresses and twirl around in the privacy of my living room, but that's for another day...