I arrived early to grab some lunch and secure a parking spot, then made it up to the second floor where author Kate DiCamillo was speaking. I took my token seat in the back row and watched the predominantly older crowd file in while playing Whack-A-Mole with my insecurities.
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I shouldn't be here.
Whack!
I'm not a real writer
Whack!
I don't belong here.
Whack!
My inner writer soon started overpowering my inner critic and I pulled out my notebook and pen. This place was a people-watching GOLDMINE!
I was surrounded by men in black turtle neck sweaters and women with knee-high boots, leggings, and matching black shawls or brightly colored scarves. These women wore fascinating jewelry: chunky rings, abstract necklaces, and large, dangling earrings. They sported colorful rimmed glasses with pink, glossy lips and perfectly colored hair--except for the token strand of grey hair in the front. Yeah, real natural.
I quickly realized why I felt like I didn't fit it. I had jeans with a hole in the knee, my running shoes (was heading to the gym directly after), a Rockband t-shirt, and my hair in a pony. Clearly, I didn't get the "Dress artsy" memo. I will consider this a very early lesson learned and will dress accordingly at my next writing event, whenever that may be.
But when I finished people-watching, I had an even bigger realization. Here's the direct quote from my writing journal:
"If I ever have a book release party, I want it to be at The Loft. I want to have the Target Theater for a reading. I want it to be a special event where my mom flies up and my friends sit in the seats, eager to share in my excitement. But first, I write."The $10 entry fee, the self doubt, the hidden seat it the back... it was all worth it for that one moment when I visualized my dream coming true. The reality will likely be much smaller. If the day comes that I have a book release party, I'm pretty sure it won't include a reading in the Target Theater.
That's okay, though. Dreams are free.
How about you? Have you attended an event just to realize you were under dressed? Or do you dress differently for writing events?
If it helped you to visualize your event and solidify your dream, then it was worth it. I usually dress nice when I go out in public - jeans of course, but nice shirt and all that. I don't like to feel under-dressed.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think the lesson learned is not to go SO casual that I have the potential to feel like I'm sticking out. And maybe my cute jeans with the hole in the knee are better left for other events...
DeleteI was OVER dressed for my first conference. I was surprised people were so casual in jeans and t-shirts. It didn't seem to fit in with the posh surroundings of the fancy hotel it was held at. BUT I've since learned. Jeans it is these days. And flat shoes. So important.
ReplyDeleteGlad you wrote down your dreams that day. Helps them to come true. :)
Ohh... I love it--You've given me a new reason to go shoe shopping! I need flats! :)
DeleteActually writing down my dreams in that room was a surreal moment. I hope to some day live it out.
I dress mostly depending on my mood, not neccesarily the company.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry, i'll definitely come to your reading. And i'll bring some people too. Promise. ;)
Duuuuude--you, of all people, had BETTER be there! :)
DeleteOkay, now that I am done laughing...and not at you, but me...yes. I pretty much always feel that way. Librarian conferences, Teacher conferences....and sometime writer conferences. And when I do attempt the dress up, the earring, the jewellery, the fancy scarfs (er, the make up)...I realize I feel even odder, like I am playing at dressing up. And...I am 52, lol!
ReplyDeleteDreams are indeed free and...they come true. Keep on writing, wearing those jeans and sneakers and being _you_.
Deb, you raise a great point--when I DO dress up, I feel ridiculous! I'm much more at ease in my Muppets t-shirt and Converse shoes. One of these days though, I'll show up in my "artsy" outfit, just to say I can at least dress the part. :)
DeleteI'm like Deb; I rarely attend conferences and such, but whenever I get dressed up I always feel like I'm playing at it, I never feel quite comfortable. This is made more pronounced when I'm surrounded by people for whom this level of dress seems to be regular routine.
ReplyDeleteEvents like that, I find, often boil down to one key moment of realization or inspiration that makes the whole day/event worth it. It's good to have a dream; it gives you something to strive towards. Many people have no dreams, and consequently little direction. Good luck - with hard work and perseverance, it will come true.
Thansk, Seabrooke. :) I might not have many things in life, but dreams I have in abundance. Somedays, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not but for now, I'm kind of digging the visualization aspect of becoming a writer. It feels good. It feels natural.
DeleteI've often found that my entry fee to events like these was worth it in ways that were so much different than what I was expecting. I always love that, and it's reminded me to come to things, even things that intimidate me, with an open mind. :-)
ReplyDeleteWhen I went to music conferences, I felt like I didn't get the memo on the hobo-chic dress code. Everyone looked like the just jumped off a train circa 1930. Lots of brown and beige and black and corduroy and snap button shirts and newsboy caps.
ReplyDeleteAnd I never got the artsy peoples obsession with black. I'm an artist and I want to WEAR ALL THE COLORS. ALL THE TIME. But I'm weird.
I tend to wear jeans a lot but I definitely dress them up a bit (or wear a darker wash since that looks fancier) with a nice shirt, scarf or some cute flats, especially at those events that last all day.
ReplyDeleteSign me up for your reading. I'm so there!
That's awesome! I love it when you can just visualize exact moments like that in your mind. Plus, good people watching is always worth it. :)
ReplyDeleteomg Kate DiCamillo!! She makes me cry every. single. time.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny b/c this Loft center place thingie is the only time I've ever wanted to live in the midwest. Just so I could be a part of it.
Ha! That's as good of a reason as any to come to the fly over state of MN!
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