Truth is, I missed it because I've been acting like mix between a jealous child and defeated dreamer. This week, I've been overwhelmed with thoughts like, "What's the point of it all? I should drastically lower my expectations. I should start to accept the fact I'll never be a writer and that I'll be stuck in my desk job until I retire. What right do I have to dream so big?"
I eat well and exercise 4 times a week and the scale won't move. I go on dates and try to be myself, but no second ones (that makes me sound totally lame, I know.) And to top it off, I write a MG adventure book and start to think about querying this spring until a riddle pulled it apart.
On top of this, amazing things are happening for my friends in all areas of my life and I honestly am incredibly happy for them. They're working toward their dreams and goals and things are working out for them!
But remember earlier when I said I've been acting like a jealous child? Yeah, that. I'm not jealous in a "Why them?" kind of way, but more of a "That could've been me if I was better at x, y, or z." I feel like I'm watching the only Opportunity Bus drive out of the station without me but what I'm not seeing is the queue of busses on the horizon. I just need to keep working toward my goal.
So, I need to take my frustrations out on the treadmill then come home with a clean slate and start at the beginning of my story. I've spent all week thinking about my story and how to rebuild it. Enough thinking. Time to start writing. Time to start running faster sprints and adding the 2.5 lb plates on each end of the bar. Time to get back out there and stop hiding behind my insecurities.
Anything you need to confess? Anything happen this week that you want to leave behind you as we head into the weekend?
To the comments!