I don't mean faith in a religious connotation, though that absolutely is an element of faith for many people. For you as a person, where do you find or put your faith? The calm certainty that says, "this is good" or "I am enough."
I've been struggling lately with the idea that I'm sorely lacking in faith in multiple areas of my life, both inside and outside. Perhaps instead of finding the few places where I put my faith, maybe it's easier to list the places where I know it isn't.
I don't have faith (or enough faith) in my ability to become a published author, lose another 20 pounds, and go after my dreams. But even more, I don't have faith in my ability to be "enough" for those I care about. Funny enough. Understanding enough. Normal enough. Caring enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Independent enough. Talented enough.
By doubting myself, it feeds the vicious cycle where I then doubt the sincerity of people who have faith in me. That is so unfair to them and I should give them more credit! For example:
My friends aren't going to ask to read my 250+ page proof copy because they have extra time and don't know what else to do with their month. No, they're busy but still want to read my book because they care about me and want to celebrate my hobbies and successes. Why is that so hard to believe?
The guy isn't asking me over for dinner just because he feels obligated. No, he's asking me over for dinner because he wants to do something nice and enjoys my company. Why is that so hard to believe?
I feel like I'm waiting for everyone to jump out at me and yell, "Surprise! We had you fooled! That book sucks!" Maybe that's the real fear, looking like a fool, especially after I've opened myself up to possible ridicule. Growing up, I hated to be teased. Maybe this is just the grown-up manifestation of that same feeling?
Is lacking faith a direct inverse to having an abundance of doubt? And if so, is the solution to feeling like I am not "enough" to simply eliminate the doubt?
Lol @ "simply eliminate the doubt." Sure, take two of these and call me in the morning. No, I know it's not that simple but I still want to know:
How does one create faith in themselves?