Friday fun with undies

First, song I'm listening to on repeat today: Cheers by Rihanna

Second, I think I'm going about this healthy lifestyle thing backwards. The other night on my way to the gym, I stopped by the liquor store and picked up a 12-pk of beer, a new bottle of Jameson, and a pack of smokes. Then I went to the gym, lifted til my limbs were jello, PR'd my latest treadmill 5K in anticipation for my 5K race this weekend, then went home where I proceeded to have 2 smokes and 2 drinks.

Yeah. Moving on...

I'm not sure if I'm slightly creeped out or flattered. Probably flattered. Never before has anyone cared so much about my undies until this week when Caitlin over at Logically and Claudie A both tagged me for this underwear meme rolling along the interwebz!

First and foremost, as Claudie also pointed out on her blog, get thee over to Caitlin's post and giggle with me at pirate underwear and what saying her undies would have printed on them. I read that and instantly agreed. Nicely played, Caitlin. Nicely played.

Now then. On to the questions...

What do you call your drawers?
Very simple, undies. NOT panties. The word panties is one of those really gross words that creep me out. Moving on...

Do you have any commonly used nicknames for them?
Um, no? Who gives their undies nicknames? Holy? (lol) Lucky? Scratchy? Not me, thanks. Though upon further thought, the idea of a chastity belt is fun. C'mon, I know you're thinking about the Everlast Chastity belt.

(Public Service Announcement: don't google chastity belt while at work. Carry on.)

Have you ever had that supposedly common dream of being in a crowded place in only your bloomers?
No, and that's so funny to me. Almost everyone I know has had a dream where they're naked in a public place. I've never had that. I wonder what that says about me? Someone tell me what naked-in-public dreams mean. I'm the opposite of that.

What is the worst thing you can think of to make long johns out of?
To this hearty MN gal, long johns are long pants made of flannel that go underneath your regular pants when it's 20 degrees below-oh-my-god-why-the-hell-am-I-still-living-here? So, just in case anyone thought long johns were a cute name for undies, they're not. But the worst thing to make them out of? Hot wax cuz how are you gonna get that off? *riiiipppp*

Or mosquitos. I'm itching phantom bites just thinking about it...

Source

If you were a pair of small clothes, what color would you be, and WHY?
Leopard or zebra print with lace because I can't quite think of anything tackier and I enjoy being slightly tacky. Sometimes.

Have you ever thrown your bloomers at a rock star or other celebrity? If so, which one(s)? If not, which one(s) WOULD you throw your bloomers at, given the opportunity?
Goodness, no. I like my undies. But if you forced me to toss them? I think I'd have to agree with Margo over at Urban Psychopomp and fling my undies sling-shot style to Alexander Skarsgard. MmmMmm... Give me a moment, please...

You're out of clean drawers. What do you do? (OMG... how many questions are there?)
Laundry, of course. But really, I have more undies than shoes. If I've run out of clean ones, I have bigger problems. Like, I'm dead.

Are you old enough for Underoos? If so, did you have any? Which ones?
Absolutely! I had the Wonder Women ones and I LOVED them. I won't lie, I used to pretend I was Wonder Woman, breaking free from evil captors using my awesome lasso. You would too if you were 8 and had those jammies. I know it. Don't lie.

If you could have any message printed on your long johns, what would it be?
Hmm... messages on my long johns? "Holy feck, it's cold" running down one leg and "FML" on the other leg. If I have put on long johns, you know the end is nigh and we've reached desperately cold DEF CON-level temps. It really will be a cold day in hell when I put on long johns because really, who wants to put on flannel pants UNDER their jeans? How are you supposed to sit, walk, or look cute?

How many bloggers does it take to put small clothes on a goat?
I am now officially too preoccupied with Wonder Woman clothing for adults that I simply cannot continue. Did you know they sold non-hooker-looking WW Halloween costumes? Um, hello awesome?! Off to spend hard-earned money on comic wear. Don't judge.