That moment when life happens

I have been temporarily paralyzed by life. That's the bad news. The good news, however, is that the paralysis is starting to fade. I'm growing stronger and my thoughts are more clear each day.

I returned from the BransforumFest in Vegas exhausted and a touch overwhelmed, but excited. I created a lengthy mental list of all the places in my MS that needed the most work or total overhaul. It was going to take a lot of work, but I was riding high on the great feedback from my critique partners.

It felt within reach.

I returned to work on Monday and before I could even set up my computer and check my voicemails, my boss gave me some pages to read. I won't bore you with the details, but here's the highlight:

The Medical School has voted unanimously to close this research center at the end of the fiscal year.

In a nutshell, this means whatever funds we have left are ours to use, but no more funds are coming in on July 1. We have enough funds to keep me for a few more months and the boss thinks he can pull together another year. I'm less optimistic, but still can see 4-6 months. So it's not dire or desperate. I have time. It just sucks.

I spent that week cool as a cucumber at work, developing processes for closing down. But at night the uncertainty paralyzed me. I wandered around the house, making prioritized lists of things to fix if I want to get it on the market this spring. I cried and wailed in the safety of my house with only my dog as my witness. I made lists of possible places to get a second job and told key members of my support network (aka, my brother and his wife).

Yet, as these crazy thoughts of despair and poverty wove through my head, one little lightbulb flickered on. What if this is EXACTLY the kick in the arse I've needed to go out there and explore my life? What if I pack it all up, throw my stuff in storage and move to Ireland? What if I wait to get laid off, then use unemployment along with no more than 20 hours a week of a part time job and really dedicate myself to writing? What if I gave myself six months to try something new?

What if this is the Universe sending a sign that it may be uncomfortable, but it will be okay?

The road ahead is still blurry and that's okay because when I turn around, I see the path I took to this point. It's a road paved with more smart than bad decisions, amazing friends, and a support system that I cannot yet fully grasp without crying. I may fall back but holy crap, there are SO MANY HANDS there to help me back up. Reflecting on the generosity of my friends who are just waiting for me to throw out the bat signal, calling for help... it is so overwhelming. I am so incredibly blessed. I don't understand it and wonder what I've done to deserve such amazing people in my life. And then I wonder how I'll ever adequately thank them for their presence.

So I'm around, blog world. I'm trying to ease back into Twitter. And I haven't given up hope on the A-Z Challenge. But at this exact moment, I'm still searching for my footing. I'll be around when I can. Hopefully, that's sooner than later.

In the meantime, any of those positive juju vibes or prayers you might want to throw my way? Yeah, I'll take them all.

Memes and awards, oh my!

I've been a bad blogging friend lately. I was tagged in a few fun memes and am just now playing along. Sorry, gang!


First, both Seabrooke and Caitlin tagged me in the Lucky 7 meme. Here are the rules:

1. Go to page 77 of your current MS 
2. Go to line 7 
3. Copy down the next seven lines as they’re written–no cheating! 
4. Tag 7 other writers 
5. Let them know


David hated being in the Academic house, especially if it meant having students like Marcellus and Seamus in his classes.
"Great question, David." Professor Petrea answered, ignoring Seamus's outburst. "Scientists aren't sure what's causing the increase number of quakes. There are mini earthquakes almost every day across the globe. What's more concerning about this series of tremors is their sharp increase in intensity. I imagine it's a result of pressure built up under the Earth's crust. Just like when you apply too much pressure to a balloon and it needs to pop, if too much..." 


Ugh. I HATE that I'm playing along with this meme because that whole section is slated to be scrubbed. But, since it hasn't been changed yet, it's all I have to play along with. Crap... Anyway.

I was also tagged by Seabrooke and Cheryl Reif with the Sunshine Award. I want to thank them both for the award. Seabrooke and I are friends on Twitter and via blogs, while Cheryl and I are blogging buddies (and now Twitter friends, too!). Please take a moment to check out both of their blogs because they are PACKED with information! Now, on to the rules!


1. Thank the person (people!) who nominated you! (Done!)
2. Write a blog post abut it with the answers to the questions below
3. Nominate 10 other bloggers and let them know 

• Favorite Color: Blue. Royal blue. Robin egg blue. Ocean blue. Love them all...
• Favorite Animal: non-domesticated? Elephants. Domesticated? Dogs.
• Favorite Number: 18
• Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drink: Coffee (I'm copying Cheryl on this one!)
• Facebook or Twitter: Wow, these are SO different. I like what I learn from Twitter, but I like the familiarity I have with FB. Especially this week--I've had a lot of love from FB.
• My Passions: Writing, reading, Yankee baseball, running
• Getting or Giving Presents: Seriously? Who's going to put getting? I will. I like to get thoughtful presents. There. I said. Go ahead and judge. :)
• Favorite Pattern: I like polka dots, but overall, I'm a solids girl by FAR.
• Favorite Flower: Fresh lilacs when they bloom in the spring. HANDS DOWN.

Finally, Adrianne over at The Writer's Republic nominated me for a Kreativ Blogger award! The rules for this are simple: share 10 things about myself and pass it on to six other people.

1. I can't wait for baseball to start. Opening Day is like a holiday!
2. I just put a St. Patrick's Day scarf on my dog and I'm pretty sure he hates it.
3. My mom just bought a second e-reader and got internet access. I'm pretty sure these are the final days of man.
4. I've had a pretty bad week and it's only Tuesday night. In theory, things should be looking up any minute now.
5. I really want new IKEA furniture for my writing room but money's an issue. It's always an issue.
6. I have a much needed girls' weekend with two very dear girlfriends this weekend. I'm SUPER excited.
7. St. Patrick's Day is one of my favorite holidays.
8. I miss LOST on tv.
9. I'm pretty sure I spend more time working out than I do writing.
10. Sometimes I feel guilty about #9, like I should run less and write more. These are the things I think about while I sit on the couch and do neither.

If you follow this blog, please consider yourself tagged. I want to read your 7 lines from page 77, I want to know your thoughts on presents: are you a giver or a getter, and I want to know something new about you!

Late to the party. Again.

I missed my friend's blog fest earlier this week.

I tried to get my act together but it didn't happen. But it wasn't until I saw all the other posts in the fest that I realized how badly I wanted to play, too. So, here's my entry, direct from Las Vegas, for The Teenage Heartthrob Blogfest, hosted by Sarah, Vic, and Emily. (I reserve the right to blame dehydration for any poor choices below...)


Heartthrob #1: Christian Slater
Hands down, number one on my list. Gleaming the Cube, Heathers, Pump Up the Volume, Robin Hood: Prince of Theives... I've seen them all. J'adore Christian Slater. That is all. I'd say more, but I'm having a moment...

Fun fact! Yours truly shares a birthday with Heartthrobs 1 and 2! Ergo, I assumed it was fate that I'd end up with one. Seeing how the next one is now deceased, my hopes like solely with Christian Slater. *fingers crossed*


Heartthrob #1: Johnny Castle Patrick Swayze
Yes, there are two number one pics. Sue me. How's a girl supposed to choose between Christian Slater and Patrick Swayze? Yes, I watched North and South JUST for him. And wore out my VHS version of Dirty Dancing. Most women dreamed of being Baby in the final dance number of Dirty Dancing. It was especially painful for me seeing as I was at least a good foot taller than any boy in my class when the movie came out. I'd never get to do the run and jump... :(  If you have a second, check out the YouTube video of Swayze and Chris Farley as Chippendales dancers and prepare to piss yourself laughing. You're welcome. :)


Heartthrob #3: Corey Feldman
Who was hotter--Corey Feldman or Corey Haim? I was CEMENTED in Camp Feldman. Stand By Me, The Goonies, License to Drive, The Lost Boys... but my fave was Dream a Little Dream. 'Stars shining right above me...' Random CF facts: did you know he was the voice of young Copper in Fox and the Hound? Did you also know he was the voice of Donatello in TMNT 2 and 3?




Heartthrob #4: Slash

Hi. My name is Tricia and I have a thing for rockstar men in leather pants. Preferably without their shirts on. And yes, I had a poster of Slash on my wall, complete with top hat, half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels, and cigarettes. My mom so badly wanted me to replace it with a NKOTB poster, but I couldn't do it. I was a rock n' roll girl.



Heartthrob #5: Michael Trucco
Um, did anyone else watch Pensacola: Wings of Gold, or was this just me? I watched this short lived series for one reason: Lt. Tucker Henry, aka Spoon. But the show went away and I grew up, soon forgetting about this total hot pocket until lo and behold, I was watching Battlestar Galactica and who should appear on my screen? SPOON! I squealed and had a total all-out girl moment. I mean, really. Just look at him!



Heartthrob #6: Richard Dean Anderson
Arguably the one of the best mullets of all time, this guy was the ULTIMATE camper. Duct tape, q-tip, and piece of chewing gum and Boom! Automatic bomb-diffusion device. Part smarts and part bad ass made for one of my earliest crushes. But trust me--don't look for recent pics. Remember him like this or from Stargate.


Heartthrob #7: Keanu Reeves
The Bill and Ted movies were my favorites! *crosses fingers for a B&T3* Alas, he should've stuck to comedy because I can't take him serious (Matrix or not) in anything else. Party on!







Honorable mention: David Hasselhoff
It pains me to put him on here because he is such a hot, hot mess. But if I put Slash, I have to give David Hasselhoff honorable mention. NOT the Baywatch years (though he wasn't too bad), and certainly NOT anything since 2000, but old school Knight Rider Hasselhoff. Go ahead, hassle me. HA!

Out of the Office

I'm taking a blogging break for a whole week! 

I'm going to be out of town.

In Vegas.

With other writers.

Unsupervised.

Yeah, I'm going to get TONS done. I can see it already.

I'll update if I have any good stories or pics to share.

Names might have to be changed.

Reputations might need to be protected.

(Including mine.)

You understand, right?

See you on the flip side!

(Compliments to the lovely Sommer Leigh for the artwork!)