tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post1824133997557311628..comments2023-12-25T02:37:35.430-06:00Comments on TL Conway writes here: The value of my wordTL Conwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08831728300345220814noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-35896354195015524572012-02-18T11:25:29.470-06:002012-02-18T11:25:29.470-06:00Yes, yes, yes! I'm in the "my word is my ...Yes, yes, yes! I'm in the "my word is my bond" camp, and I take it very seriously. I've been in situations like you describe with offering to do a MS critique, and it bugs me so much if I can't deliver what I've promised right away!! That's such a bummer about your friend...though, sadly, not all that surprising. I don't think the vast majority of people get the true value of giving their word.Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10680066584646789184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-37394254669689536032012-02-15T20:38:10.956-06:002012-02-15T20:38:10.956-06:00This is a great post.
By nature I am a people pl...This is a great post. <br /><br />By nature I am a people pleaser, but that means I overcommit because I want to make everyone happy and I don't want to say no. But there's only one of me, and I often end up with more on my plate than I can handle. I'm trying not to spread myself so thin, because I don't want to end up having to disappoint someone the way your friend was disappointed. Saying no is hard, but it's better than being that person!Jessica Lovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01382996481558671385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-66023575992209996922012-02-15T19:11:58.444-06:002012-02-15T19:11:58.444-06:00Yup, there are TONS of ways to support our friends...Yup, there are TONS of ways to support our friends online. With all the friendships you've made via blogging, I can only IMAGINE (and then run away in fear!) all the books on your iPad!TL Conwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831728300345220814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-36100371567882907892012-02-15T19:11:13.067-06:002012-02-15T19:11:13.067-06:00Nope, no real recourse since it was a charitable s...Nope, no real recourse since it was a charitable swap. But you raise a great point -- we have to learn sometimes that it's okay to say no. Not only is it okay, but sometimes it's the best answer for both parties, even if you want to say yes.TL Conwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831728300345220814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-40997814638446678392012-02-15T19:10:06.315-06:002012-02-15T19:10:06.315-06:00It's a fine line, for sure. One I'm still ...It's a fine line, for sure. One I'm still learning to walk. But I've learned my limits in the past month, that much I know!TL Conwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831728300345220814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-90884791481867057522012-02-15T17:09:19.369-06:002012-02-15T17:09:19.369-06:00TL, those are some mighty wise words. Because onli...TL, those are some mighty wise words. Because online that's all we have. Really sorry for your friend.<br />I'm a slow reader (and my schedule is very full at the moment) so I've never promised to read anyone's book. However, when my blogger buddies release a book, I do promise to buy it - and I follow through. (Yes, I have a scary amount of books on my iPad.)Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-26013990786808542132012-02-15T14:14:23.157-06:002012-02-15T14:14:23.157-06:00Sometimes the natural inclination is to want to he...Sometimes the natural inclination is to want to help regardless of your personal circumstances. But it's very important to learn that it's okay to say no, especially if it means that you don't end up disappointing someone.<br /><br />In your friend's case, having your money essentially stolen makes it even worse. I hope there's some recourse there!Adrianne Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18108123882094459747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-13108173424593281892012-02-15T11:23:10.991-06:002012-02-15T11:23:10.991-06:00Yeah i'm always very careful to only take on w...Yeah i'm always very careful to only take on what i know i can get done in a reasonable amount of time. There are definitely times where i've had to turn down requests to beta read or swap chapters because i had already committed myself elsewhereSarah Ahiershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02795455714801965956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-34859548024968798262012-02-15T11:11:14.910-06:002012-02-15T11:11:14.910-06:00Thanks for bringing up a good point, Talli. As the...Thanks for bringing up a good point, Talli. As the "recipient", we have another opportunity to manage our brand. The power of a sincere thank you speaks volumes to me. If we need people to continue helping us in some capacity (even in friendship), we need to remember to take a moment to thank those people. <br /><br />It feels like such a simple give and take, please and thank you scenario, yet it baffles me when it doesn't work out like that.TL Conwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831728300345220814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-8919576101725451072012-02-15T11:08:11.432-06:002012-02-15T11:08:11.432-06:00Alas, not getting bitter at this, or the entire ro...Alas, not getting bitter at this, or the entire road to publication, is the name of the game, right? ;)TL Conwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831728300345220814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-49740834717246265152012-02-15T11:07:31.456-06:002012-02-15T11:07:31.456-06:00Amanda, YES--assuming something instead of hoping ...Amanda, YES--assuming something instead of hoping is a huge distinction. To assume is to make an ass... well, you know how the saying goes. :)<br /><br />I think the fact that money was exchanged is what angers me the most. I struggle to find ANY situation where keeping the money is acceptable.TL Conwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831728300345220814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-45899457517359362572012-02-15T11:05:36.246-06:002012-02-15T11:05:36.246-06:00Thanks, LG. You're right, there's a "...Thanks, LG. You're right, there's a "follow through" component. Personally, it would be VERY difficult for me to not follow through.TL Conwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831728300345220814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-35648047681636169602012-02-15T11:03:25.246-06:002012-02-15T11:03:25.246-06:00Aw, Sommer--thanks for the offer. I'll extend ...Aw, Sommer--thanks for the offer. I'll extend it to my friend and let you know. <br /><br />Yes, I *totally* understand that life happens and sometimes we can't honor our commitments, but everyone I know would at least try to "do the right thing." (Thanks, Spike Lee!)TL Conwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08831728300345220814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-13379918195900800172012-02-15T10:52:14.328-06:002012-02-15T10:52:14.328-06:00I am like you - when I agree to do something, I tr...I am like you - when I agree to do something, I try to do it quickly and to the best of my ability. I have found, sadly, that the favour isn't always returned... or even appreciated.Talli Rolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04780882465745107715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-73561410974590113442012-02-15T09:52:10.176-06:002012-02-15T09:52:10.176-06:00It's a hard balance to find, how much trust to...It's a hard balance to find, how much trust to give to the "word" of others. <br /><br />Just don't let the bad ones turn you bitter. :)Hektor Karlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08908146663251226473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-86493902055698897292012-02-15T08:50:17.855-06:002012-02-15T08:50:17.855-06:00I completely agree with you here. Personally, I tr...I completely agree with you here. Personally, I try never to give my word where I know there is even a possibility that I may not be able to follow through. Though I realize that there are times when people may not be able to follow through, it shouldn't be taken for granted that other people will understand - you did well by HOPING that your friend would understand rather than ASSUMING she would.<br /><br />Unfortunately I think your friend was taken advantage of. If money had exchanged hands and the other person wasn't able to keep up their end of the deal, at the very least they should have given your friend her money back. In my mind, that would be the only fair thing to do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-52973468096872299682012-02-15T08:29:36.884-06:002012-02-15T08:29:36.884-06:00I so, so agree with you that we are our brand when...I so, so agree with you that we are our brand when it comes to our online presence. And not only online but in "real life" too. And by saying our word is sacred what we really mean is that our actions will follow up what we say we will do. I have to think long and hard about making commitments to people online as well, because I don't want to be THAT person who doesn't follow thru. <br /><br />Good honest post.Luanne G. Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15762881276976395955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-875999221456761044.post-63697629504768417222012-02-15T08:06:08.962-06:002012-02-15T08:06:08.962-06:00This sort of thing makes me crazy. I mean, things ...This sort of thing makes me crazy. I mean, things happen and what we hoped we could accomplish we can't. It's happened to us all, but we also have a responsibility to do something to make up for our shortfall. In some way.<br /><br />Is there anything we can do for your friend who got the short end of the stick? Is there a skill any of us could offer to help with?Sommer Leighhttp://www.sommerleigh.comnoreply@blogger.com